| Business Beat |
| After the Fall: How we'd help celebrities handle their "Id" Life Crisis |
With apologies to Jan Brady, we're all screaming "Martha! Martha! Martha!" Talk about a comeback queen! And she just got sprung from the big house! We here at Semaphore are absolutely amazed at the crisis management finesse that Martha Stewart and her team of PR experts have displayed in the last few months. How many ex-cons actually have not one, but TWO television shows waiting to go into production upon their release? Not only that, the Domestic Queen everyone used to love to hate is gracing magazine covers and stock in her company continues to rise.
So how did she do it? And how have other celebrities managed their recent "id" life crisis? As an agency that routinely offers public relations and crisis management solutions to our clients, we offer a lighthearted take on Martha Stewart and a few other notable celebrities who have faced recent public relations snafus.
 Who:Martha Stewart.
Crisis: Lying to Federal Prosecutors, Going to jail, really bad reputation as an Uberdiva.
Management Solution: She took it like a woman. When Martha was convicted of lying to federal prosecutors, she immediately chose to take her punishment by doing time in a woman's correctional institute. Rarely does a famous figure take it on the chin like this (Bill Clinton, anyone?) but the gambit sure seems to have paid off. Martha is poised to reclaim her multimedia empire and is more admired than ever proving that, in the end, accountability is a very good thing.
Additional Spin Opportunities: None that we can see. Self-awareness is key to a personality brand and no one knows Martha better than Martha.
 Who: Michael Jackson.
Crisis: Facing criminal molestation charges; increasingly bizarre behavior; multiple plastic surgeries.
Management Solution: The Emperor has no nose. Nor any discerning PR management team it seems. Michael Jackson surrounds himself with minions who can't or won't tell him that it's a really, really bad idea to admit on national TV that he sleeps with children. And those Renaissance vests in court? Dress down, dude. He needs to paint himself in a different light. Make it seem the media has victimized him and that he's not that different than anyone else. Most important, Jacko simply needs to admit that he has made many missteps in the last decade and that he needs professional help on many, many levels.
What would we advise: If he is found innocent, Jackson should immediately distance himself from all children (including his own) and donate Neverland to a children's hospice center. He should move to a place like New York and reinvent himself as a media producer. Cut the hair. Grow a beard. Don't touch the face anymore. Get street cred by working with someone like P Diddy. And get thee to Katie Couric or Barbara Walters for a one on one no-holds barred interview - but only after practicing with professional spin-doctors for months in advance. After all, an ill-prepared documentary interview was exactly when Michael's current problems first began.
 Who: Paris Hilton.
Crisis: Private porn tapes made public; cell phone hacked with emails and phone numbers of the rich and famous exposed on the Internet; serious overexposure.
Management Solution: The porn tape didn't seem to burn Paris at all. After all, she's famous for being famous and scandal only seems to help this master of self-promotion. And she offered an uncharacteristic apology when the contents of her cell phone were made public. But the one thing Paris faces that seems impossible to avoid? A fickle public who is bound to grow weary of her ubiquitous antics. It's actually amazing that Paris has lasted as long as she has by displaying no discernible talent in her so-called career. But that could be changing as she segues into acting with TV roles and the upcoming "House of Wax" remake (bet the audience will cheer when her character is killed!).
What would we advise: To ensure she extends her 15 minutes, Paris needs to go semiprivate by being more discerning in her media appearances. Hire a more conservative stylist and establish a bond with a big name designer (look how House of Versace has helped Madonna). She could also benefit by taking some legit acting classes and finish out her obligations to reality television. On the personal front, Paris needs a non-celebrity boyfriend who maybe works for "Habitat for Humanity" or some other noteworthy cause. And she needs to take the famous Hilton name a little more seriously and do some charity work of her own. Pick a disease and host a fancy fundraiser. It helped make Elizabeth Taylor a Dame, after all.
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